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Why I Stopped Apologizing

My father taught me to be polite. He believed in the importance of respect and brought me up with a code that had clear expectations. You opened doors for ladies. “Ladies first, son” he would always say. You treated older people with respect and never spoke to them as you would to your friends. The code was clear. It included apologizing when you did something wrong, or when you discovered that you had offended others. It meant that you gave others a chance to speak and respected their right to express their view. But all that has changed. I don’t apologize anymore. 

Times Have Changed

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still courteous. When it’s obvious that I’ve done something wrong I’ll apologize, but I don’t waste apologies, and I don’t extend them to those who don’t appreciate them. For example, I don’t apologize to leftists or liberal progressives. Why? Because they don’t play by the rules, so an apology to them is a waste of time. They see it as weakness, and don’t extend the same courtesy to me or others. In these difficult and contentious times I can’t afford to waste energy or misdirect my sentiments. 

Never Apologize, Never Explain

The famous English author P.G. Woodhouse said. “It’s a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort of people take a mean advantage of them.” That may be a bit of an extreme statement. There are times when a genuine apology, directed to someone you care about or admire, makes sense. But for the most part Woodhouse was right, and it applies especially to liberal progressives. Am I being mean? I don’t think so. 

“Apologize For Who You Are and What You Believe!”

Ask yourself what liberal progressives and leftists want. They don’t want to dialogue with you. They aren’t interested in a contest of wit and wills. They aren’t interested in compromise. They want you silenced, crushed and gone. Sometime in the early 2000s, this became evident. They wanted an end to conservatism and conservative thought. They wanted everyone to think as they did, and everyone to obey their value system. Or else. When they gained power radical liberal progressives and leftists changed laws and rigged the system so that their ideology prevailed. Even language had to change so that progressivism could triumph. Part of this meant that we conservatives had to apologize for our time honoured beliefs and convictions. My answer to that? No thanks.

I Stand By Who I am and What I Believe

As a white conservative male this is important to me. Of all the groups the progressive left hates I am the one they’d most like to destroy. What they want me, and millions like me, to do is apologize for who we are and what we believe. I won’t. To do so would be an abject act of cowardice done so that I could “go along to get along.” If I apologized for who I was there would be no end to it. The left would demand that I reject my beliefs and conform to their “reality” which, by the way, isn’t even real half of the time. That’s way too high a price to pay. And, anyway, why should I have to apologize for who I am and what I believe. There’s nothing wrong with it. 

No Apologies

So I won’t and neither should you. Once the extreme left gets us to apologize the next step will be for us to publicly renounce our beliefs and the one after that will be to re-educate us. Don’t think that’s impossible. It could happen. In January of 2020, Kyle Jurek, an Bernie Sanders campaign field organizer, was caught by Project Veritas saying that if his candidate won it would be a good idea to set up re-education camps for Trump supporters to deprogram them, just as Nazis had to be re-educated after World War 2. Why would we allow them to do that to us? We shouldn’t, and the first step in preventing it is to stop apologizing. I hope you won’t in the future. 

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Michael Groenewold
Michael Groenewold
3 years ago

Thanks for this refreshing breeze which is so needed in the stifling darkness of the liberal ‘regressive’ world which has so taken root in our time. It seems to me that the thing that will help start the restoration process in our culture is if we STOP apologizing to the left for at least two reasons: first, our apologies produce nothing good, and second, the one thing that will actually help the liberal left is if we oppose them and show them what a free and responsible world actually looks like. Breathing the clean air of a free and just… Read more »

Last edited 3 years ago by Michael Groenewold
Perry Foster
3 years ago

Thanks. The main thing to recognize is that being courteous or apologizing to the extreme left is a waste of time. They do not recognize or understand courteous behaviour or a gracious apology. We have to start thinking more strategically and stop wasting our time. Instead we should focus on organizing and opposing their mandate. That’s the important work we need to do.

Rick Higgins
3 years ago

The battle call is in your words today Perry. Yeah, me too. Time to quit playing patty cake. I am trying to be careful to attack lies, ideas, vain thinking, conceit, but not attack people. It is not easy because some people have their entire persona wrapped up in their ideas and beliefs. In the leftist vein, most of their ideas have no factual basis in reality, so they cling to them for dear life as if they are the sole defender of their ideological nonsense. I think we need to speak boldly, clearly with candour to everyone and every… Read more »

Perry Foster
3 years ago
Reply to  Rick Higgins

Yes. The time for bold action has come. For some conservatives that is hard to believe and even harder to act on. We are the quiet, hard working, law abiding ones, so we have an aversion to marching in protests, calling people out for their mistaken beliefs, challenging obvious falsehoods and entering the fray in a powerful way. But now times have changed and battle has been joined. If we don’t stick up for what’s right who will?Not the relativists, postmodernists and extremist leftists. Of that you can be assured.

Hal Adam
Hal Adam
3 years ago

Another excellent article and I agree 100% when it comes to our World View or who we identify with (in my case the Lord Jesus Christ). I have a leftist neighbour and since I am fallible there may be times I may need to apologize to them for something other than my identity or my World view. After all, we are to love our neighbour but also those who hate us. They may not apologize for anything but we need demonstrate real tolerance and kindness even to those who hate us or hate our World View. This is NOT easy… Read more »

Perry Foster
3 years ago
Reply to  Hal Adam

Yes. I entirely agree. But now we are in a slightly different situation. Our enemies do not care to practice courtesy or civilized restraint. While we should always strive to be courteous ourselves, we should never give in to them or their bullying tactics. That was the point of the post above. It’s a war. Time to get tactical. No apologies for our beliefs.